Man, it's really hard to make a good adventure game. It's so hard to make one, in fact, that even veterans of the genre -- guys who've worked on indisputable classics -- sometimes stumble. Case in point: A Vampyre Story. A glance at the game's credits reveals names that should be immediately familiar to fans of LucasArts adventures like The Curse of Monkey Island. But somehow, even these genre vets managed to slather their latest offering with weaksauce. Not that A Vampyre Story is a bad game; it just lacks that critical "hook."

The main reason for this is that the game isn't funny. It tries hard to be, bless its little soul -- but tired puns, badly animated sight gags, and fart humor only get you so far these days. And it's also hamstrung by its failure to incorporate basic design conveniences. Perhaps it's because I've been playing Prince of Persia lately, but A Vampyre Story's long wait times drove me crazy. Exiting a location means thumb-twiddling while Mona -- the titular vampire -- ambles her hourglass frame sloooooowly over to the edge of the screen...and then more twiddling while the next screen loads. Why didn't the designers include a simple double-click-to-leave-instantly mechanic, ? la Monkey Island? And if it takes so long to get from place to place, why'd they include so many puzzles that require shuttling back and forth between locations?